my vacation with my grandhumans!

my trip to visit the grandhumans is over. :(

not that anyone asked MY opinion or anything.

even though i'm really sad i had to leave all the treats, belly rubs, and snuggles behind, i had a really great time!

relaxing next to the tree while my human reads a boring book? that's my kind of vacation!

i spent some time in the kitchen with my grans helping her cook christmas dinner.

next year, i would like the christmas dinner menu to have a lot more bacon on it. you can NEVER have too much bacon.

i watched out the window and alerted my grandhumans of intruders in the driveway, squirrels climbing trees, and blowing snow. 

this is a very important job, obviously.

i saw santa and he told me i had been a very good pup this year... which didn't come as much of a surprise to me, of course.

me and santa? we're on a first-name basis.

i helped my gramps cook waffles in the morning. 

the secret to making delicious waffles is a side of bacon.

and i went for walks in the snow.

did you say i have something on my face?

we saw some really pretty places...

as cool as this barn looks, i think i'd rather go inside and see what kind of animals are in there instead. 

and explored the woods around my grandhumans' house.

the only complaint i have about the snow is that it makes it really hard to sniff all the good woodsy smells. 

my bff luke came to visit!

a party isn't a party unless your best friend is there with you!

we played outside in the garden for hours and hours.

if only my human didn't insist i wear this dumb outfit to keep me warm...embarrassing.

we played chase, tag, and who-can-run-around-the-garden-the-fastest.

you can't catch me, i'm the...rambo man!

he's bigger than me, but i'm really fast, so i usually won.

it's not time to come back inside yet, is it?

even though i'm pretty sure he let me win some of the times.

psst, luke, if you let me win, i will share my bacon treats with you.

luke likes to keep an eye out for me. when i'm off doing something suspicious, he keeps watch to make sure i'm ok.

time out! i'm on a mission to find out where that delicious smell is coming from. gimme oneeee second.

on christmas, luke and i endured the humiliation of being dressed up as santa's reindeer.

me: this is ridiculous, so i will give you my best defiant look. hmph.
luke: what is happening to me? i don't understand...do you really deal with this kind of stuff, rams?

but once she saw our sad faces, my human took the antlers off and said it was time for presents!

i'm practicing my pre-present opening face, which is a cross between surprised and befuddled.

my human gave me my present to open, which, even though i was excited to open it, didn't make up for dressing me up as a reindeer earlier that morning.

i want to guilt-trip you for as long as possible, so i'm trying to hid my excitement.

but i was so excited i couldn't pretend to be upset for very long. 

me: LET. GO. HUMAN! LET. ME. OPEN. IT. MYSELF!
luke: want some help, little buddy?

and even though getting gifts is nice, i'm pretty sure that tearing up wrapping paper is just as great.

luke: what is it, little buddy?
me: nom nom nom *rip* nom nom *tear* nom nom nom

luke waited patiently for me to open my gift. 

luke: yawnnn, how long is this going to take?
me: nom nom nom *rip* nom nom *tear* nom nom nom

once i finally opened my present (which was a brand new squeaky toy, in a really delicious cardboard box), i decided that i would be the designated gift-opener for the rest of the day.

from now on, all gifts must be opened by ME, kay?

later that day, we went to the neighbor's house for christmas dinner.

woah, this is like upgrading from basic cable to satellite tv with a million bazillion channels!

i spent the rest of the vacation snoozing next to the wood stove in the basement, playing in the snow, and sneaking treats from my grandhumans when my human wasn't looking.

pretty sure there's nothing better than coming inside after playing in the snow and napping next to the wood stove.

but then, it was time to leave.

but what if i don't WANT to go to the airport? what if i WANT to stay here forever?

after i said goodbye to my grandhumans at the airport, i was really, really sad.

but when will i see them again? will they come visit me soon? will i get to come back and play with them in the snow again? who's going to cook me waffles and bacon?

i pouted in my carrier for a while.

are you feeling guilty yet for making me leave my grandhumans' and go back home?...what about now?

but then i remembered that tonight i new year's eve, and my human promised to make me a non-alcoholic bacontini to celebrate!

even though i'm sad...i'm really excited to try a bacontini! everything is better with bacon, after all. 

happy new year's!

- rambo

i met santa today!

when i woke up today, i knew it would be a great day. and guess what? i met santa!

first, the human brushed me so i looked all nice and fresh. we picked out a festive collar for me to wear, and then the human, the grandhuman and i drove to the mall (not sure why santa lives here, but oh well).

"enter here" means i am about to meet santa for the second time in my life! yay!

we stood in line forever and ever.

'scuse me sir, but is this the way to see santa?

but i had a lot of fun looking cute...and meeting the other kids in the line, of course.

this is what my surprise face will look like when santa tells me i've been a good boy!

there were these really weird mirror things in the meet-santa waiting area.

wait a second, is this really what i look like?

and i couldn't figure out if it was the mirror that made me look long and thin one second, and then short and wide the next second...or if it was me. 

WHAT IS THIS MAGIC!?

and THEN...it was time to meet santa!

sir, i need to sniff you out, hold on for oneeee second.

he got down on the floor to play with me. then i gave him some sniffs and licks, once i decided he was a nice man, of course.

hold still! i don't give just ANYONE a kiss on the mouth.

and then i very nonchalantly told him what i wanted for christmas.

you can't even tell i'm whispering in his ear that i want a new squeaky, a whole bag of bacon treats, and a paw-activated belly-rub machine. 

and THEN santa said, "you've been a very good pup this year!" which made me very happy (but not really surprised at all).

i really tried to look surprised when he told me this, but i kinda knew it was coming. oh well.

i had a great time meeting santa for the second time in my life! 

man, being good for one more WHOLE year is going to be hard.

merry christmas and happy holidays everyone!

- rambo

holiday bloopers!

sometimes, pictures don't work out the way they're supposed to.

to get one really cute shot of me, my human has to take a lot of un-cute pictures. 

i guess you could say i have a lot of bloopers from photo sessions with my human.

who, me? take an un-cute picture? you're kidding, right?

i haven't shared my bloopers with my fans before. 

they're kind of embarrassing, to be honest.

but after a lot of unsuccessful holiday photo shoots with my human in the living room this month, i decided it was time to share some of my funniest outtakes with all of you.

as long as you promise not to laugh.

promise? 

here are some of the silliest photos i've taken this season :)

1. i call this one the "grumpy pilgrim." you can tell exactly how i feel about this dumb hat in this picture.

the reason why the pilgrims wore this kind of stuff is because they didn't have cameras or social media back then. 

2. me doing my best "unhappy santa paws" impression. yep, i definitely i nailed it.

let's leave the santa outfit-wearing responsibilities to santa, ok? i feel ridiculous.

3. pretty sure this photo speaks for itself. it has "annoyed little furry elf" written all over it.

you want to know what i'm thinking? just look at my face.

4. not sure why the human didn't get the hint that this just wasn't going to work after taking the previous photo.

this is the dumbest outfit i've ever worn. ever.

5. alright, so this next outfit wasn't so bad, but i look pretty dumb in this picture. i call it "doofy elf with weird-looking ears." 

uh, am i supposed to be able to see while wearing this thing?

6. and this is my best interpretation of a sleepy-looking reindeer wearing a polka dot scarf.

yaaaaaaaawn, are we done yet?

7. and here we have a picture of me doing my best impression of my human after she has a few glasses of eggnog.

hey human! this is me doing my best "whoops i just drank another glass of eggnog" impression of you. 

8. but we always (well, almost always) get at least one good shot in the end.

i'm giving you my best adorable face so we can get this over with already.

happy holidays! 

- rambo

my 2013 christmas list!

there's less than ONE MONTH until christmas!

which means it's time to get down to business.

this is my serious face.

i've been thinking a lot about what i want for christmas. 

...other than world peace and bacon for everyone, of course. 

...well, at least bacon for everyone, because i'm pretty sure that would help make the world a lot more peaceful and happy. 

can we get to my christmas list already?

so anyways, i've finally come up with a list of things i want to send to santa. 

and since i'm pretty sure that ALL dogs would want this stuff, not just me, i thought i would share it with all you humans to help you shop for your own pup.

ready?

seriously, are you ready yet?

what about now? 

ok, good. 

here's my list for santa! (and psssst, make sure to read to the end, because i share a really great coupon code with you for 10% off your purchase of $50 or more at petflow.com!)

1. bacon, but i'm pretty sure that goes without saying.

there seriously isn't anything better than this.

2. a new lamb chop from petflow.com...because i tore all the stuffin' out of mine last summer :( 

RIP lamby...you will be (and have) been missed.

3. a blue invincibles squeaker toy (also from my favorite store ever, petflow.com!)...because i already have the orange one, so now i need the blue one. 

by the way, humans: these toys are AWESOME because even if my sharp, razor-like puppy teeth puncture the squeaker, IT STILL SQUEAKS! best. toy. ever. 

if i were the king of the world, every dog far and wide would have one of these. 

4. a WHOLE CASE of non-alcoholic bowser beer! 

if THIS face doesn't tell you how much i love this stuff, i don't know WHAT will.

5. natural balance limited ingredient jerky treats (from petflow and made in the usa, yay!). these are some of my most favorite treats ever. seriously, do i LOOK like i would joke about something like this? 

if santa loves me (and i really hope he does) he will stick a package of these in my stocking!

6. a personal chef who will make me mutt soup and mutt meatballs for me EVERY NIGHT. pleaseeee :)

i just wear the chefs hat, i don't ACTUALLY cook. get it straight.

7. oh, and add to that mutt pancakes, since i haven't been able to try them yet (pretty sure it's because my human has been too lazy to make them for me).

waking up to THESE on christmas morning would be like, the best thing ever.

8. a mustache. well, a toy mustache at least. santa (or the human) could get this one from petflow too...just sayin'.

think about how cool i would look nomming on THIS!

9. a dragon!!!! ROAR! 

...but a dragon chew toy from petflow will do just fine if santa can't locate a real dragon in time. 

this looks like the perfect chew toy for my sharp little dragon teeth :)

10. a jigsaw glider dog game by kyjen! 

my trainer said i need toys that stimulate my brain more since i'm such an active pup, and i think this is what she was talking about. 

pssst, human and/or santa, you can ALSO get this for me on petflow! yay!

pretty sure that this would keep me entertained for hours. plus, purple and green are really awesome colors. 

11. a year's supply of petcakes! ohm nom nom nom nom. that's all i have to say about that.

these are so easy to make, even a dog with no thumbs can do it!

12. ultra-sonic blowfish dog toy i found on petflow...because sometimes the human doesn't always want to hear me squeaking my squeakers in the middle of the night :)

this lil' guy is made with an awesomely awesome squeaker that only dogs can hear, which means peace and quiet for all you non-squeaker loving humans! :) 

...and that's all i have...for now, at least. :)

now all i have to do is figure out how to reach the mail box so i can mail my letter to santa...


oh, and by the way, use the code RAMBO10 on petflow.com to get 10% off any order of $50 or more! check out their site and see all the cool stuff you can get! trust me, your pups will thank you :) 

- rambo